I'm just about ready to buy my dream car and retire at 22 years old after TRIPLING my initial investment. Good luck doing that with your fiat
And I don't even have to deal with the BS of the old fashioned legacy banking system to do it! Literally all I have to do is:
Unstake at least 40% of my ETH from the pools (which only takes about 3 months in total)
Transfer half of that into Tether, and combine with the rest of my bitcoin holdings in my pre-configured hotswap wallet
Roll those into Doge derivatives on the Pancakeswap chain, paying only 6% in gas
Move all of that into one of my CEX accounts via the ApeJuice offramp
Take the remaining 60% of my ETH, wait for it to be unlocked from the DAOs I'm tied up in, then transfer that into the CEX as well. I can't do it directly because of the way the PancakeDogeBalls smart contract works of course, so I will probably convert it to Monero -> CRON -> BTC (only 8% in gas) first.
Unstake my Cardano, transfer that to my backup Metamask wallet via the ADAbridge smart contract (12% gas), and then exchange for BTC (3% gas) over a period of two weeks to avoid losing on arbitrage
Activate my Slurp Juice to maximize the value of my NFT holdings
Sell those NFTs on OpenSea, transfer the ETH to the CumWorld exchange, roll that into leveraged Doge iron condors, and then trade those via the Lightning Network to my hotswap wallet (12% gas).
From there it's a piece of cake to get them into the CEX account (5% gas). I just need to spend a few weeks verifying and double-verifying all the addresses involved are correct and inspecting all the smart contracts' code to ensure there's nothing malicious in there.
Once all my holdings have been transferred into the CEX wallet, I just have to dig up my birdbath, translate the engravings on the tungsten plates, and then solve their riddles three to obtain my account password.
Repeat this process six more times with my six other bird baths (decentralized) (18% gas).
Once I have that, I can cash out up to $8,000 per week for Tether (I can't do this atm bc I am waiting to hear back from a customer service rep on a problem with my margin but that's unrelated).
Once I have the tether, I can simply bridge that over to the FuckMyAsshole.io smart contract offramp which will allow me to exchange the tether for BUSD, which I can then sell to a guy I met on Twitter for REAL US DOLLARS!!! (18% capital gains)
Then when I have the dollars, I can buy the car and retire and get a gf
It would just be that easy! Now, of course I will never ACTUALLY sell, because then I'd miss out on even more gainz
. But it's good to know that I could retire and spend the rest of my life tuning up that gorgeous 2007 Mazda machine if I really wanted to, thanks to bitcoin.